Either they will all assume I’m back because I’m a cheap bastard or the manager won’t be in, I’ll try to pay with my wrist and they’ll think that I’m a cheap bastard. While it was great to have a meal for free, I certainly can’t return. The producers of the show were slightly more worried, asking if my wife would be upset but the truth is she is so unbothered by such things that I could get a swastika tattooed on my face and she would probably say, “It’s better than the Autobot one.” I loved Albania, so it didn’t feel that big a deal to get its flag tattooed on my wrist. I wasn’t completely up to speed on the social etiquette of this situation, but I decided that if you are in a bunker with an ex-con and he suggests inking you, it is probably safer to accept and deal with the repercussions later.

The clock is ticking, because he is now learning to read, and will be upset when he discovers that, not only have I got his brothers’ names, but also Richard Pryor, Nas, the Roots and the Transformers’ Autobot logo before getting round to him.Īs part of a travel show I filmed for BBC Two last year, I visited Albania, where I met an ex-con who offered me a tattoo. I got another done when my second son was born, but am yet to get a tattoo for our youngest. I went ahead and did it, and then she bottled it – a betrayal for which I am yet to cash in my martyr points (see earlier column for an explanation of how martyr points work). My wife and I agreed we would both get the boy’s name inked (classy, I know). It started shortly after the birth of our first son. I have, over the last few years, become obsessed with getting tattooed.

Autobot tattoo